Mwahahaha, it is alive!
Alright! My second blog, and my first public one. Kinda scary. I figure a publice blog is a fun way to vent or ramble and allow friends to see the wierd side of me, even while I'm away from school, which is where almost all of my friends are.
As the date for me entering the MTC has drawn nearer and nearer, I've been frantically searching my life to find a sense of security in know that my life is in order and that I have sufficiently prepared for the challenges ahead. I am often times discouraged though, being back home in the regular routine of going to work all day long and then coming home for some food and sleep has caused me to lose hold of being cheerful all the time and keeping my mind sharp and aware. I'm always thinking I've not made enough good choices in life, or I blow every little mistake I make into something way out of proportion. I'm losing the ability to have faith in myself and to be able to be honest with myself, because I often feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. I'm sure this will sound not very nice, but I can't wait to get away from my home again. It is so hard to be able to strengthen my abilities to make tough decisions, mature through having more responsibilities, and other necessary things for being able to take care of myself in a foreign country for TWO YEARS when I'm am living at home under my mom's thumb and the only thing I'm doing besides living at home is going to work every day.
I love being home, and spending time with my family, but I need more growth in my life, and that's not going to happen until I get out their on my own. . . and I can't wait!
As the date for me entering the MTC has drawn nearer and nearer, I've been frantically searching my life to find a sense of security in know that my life is in order and that I have sufficiently prepared for the challenges ahead. I am often times discouraged though, being back home in the regular routine of going to work all day long and then coming home for some food and sleep has caused me to lose hold of being cheerful all the time and keeping my mind sharp and aware. I'm always thinking I've not made enough good choices in life, or I blow every little mistake I make into something way out of proportion. I'm losing the ability to have faith in myself and to be able to be honest with myself, because I often feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. I'm sure this will sound not very nice, but I can't wait to get away from my home again. It is so hard to be able to strengthen my abilities to make tough decisions, mature through having more responsibilities, and other necessary things for being able to take care of myself in a foreign country for TWO YEARS when I'm am living at home under my mom's thumb and the only thing I'm doing besides living at home is going to work every day.
I love being home, and spending time with my family, but I need more growth in my life, and that's not going to happen until I get out their on my own. . . and I can't wait!
posted by Jason at 11:30 PM
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